Between books and sofas, Gabriel Rollo Yes Cynthia Willa dyed this afternoon with a psychoanalytical coat the 46th Buenos Aires International Book Fair, in dialogue with the journalist Luis Novaresio.
During the interview, they shared thoughts on the implications of a duel – not necessarily always related to death – as well as the need to put it into words.
A crowded room that José Hernández dedicated to them at the start of the conference love who hurts Round of applause for the two psychoanalysts. “How I’ve missed meeting the readers, being able to talk a bit about ideas,” Rolón opened when attending.
“It’s so hard these days that we live to stop and think…problems seem to be imposed, imposed by others and even opinions are already closed off by others, so we adhere to this or that opinion, but we hardly have the right to think. And the book, and this type of encounter, offers us the possibility of finding personal reflection”, the best-selling author of couch stories.
Rolón presented “El duel” (Luciano González)
At the beginning, Novaresio read extracts from the books of both, without specifying which of the two had written them, and assured that the two works, the novel Dear daddy of Willa and The dual de Rolón, actually dialogue with each other, although they belong to different genres.
Should we put words to the duels?, Novaresio asked the two panelists.
“Yes, a duel not put into words is an unresolved duel, is an invitation to fall into two bereavement-friendly illnesses, one is depression and the other is melancholy. There are two possible paths for those who do not resolve the duel,” warned Rolón, who disseminates psychoanalysis both through his academic activity and through his intense participation in the media.
Grieving is the active search for a “place without rubble, without ruins,” Wila said. “In life, we lose all the time. This is why perhaps the greatest challenge a person faces is rebuilding their life moment by moment. Because every moment we lose dreams, illusions, things, desires, loves, people”.
“We lose the past that we had. We lose the dreams that we have built at some point and that we could not achieve”, underlined the author of the novel. Dear daddy.
Wila, about the novel “Dear Daddy” (Luciano González)
Is mourning a process of solitude?, also questioned Novaresio. Wila considered that, like most emotions, “it has a leg in solitude, because you go through your anguish with the pillow, with your cries, your inner voices”.
And he said that many times he noticed during consultations that years, even decades, pass, during which a patient “is upset about a certain thing and you start asking questions and all of a sudden you realize he had losses that never hurt.”
For this reason, the Brazilian-born, Argentina-based writer and psychologist pointed out, “not to talk is to stay in the mud. When we are in mourning, we are speechless. If you don’t put words, you crumble with the crumble”.
The writer and psychoanalyst showed himself to be a great follower of the Sartrean formula “we are what we make of what they made of us”. And he indicated that “we are beings in permanent mourning. There’s something I’d like to see transformed, the idea that grief only has to do with death.
On the contrary, he affirms that mourning “is the fight, fatal, unjust, that someone leads, alone, so as not to die with what he has lost, someone who assumes that he has no other choice than to walk a path and accept that there are things that are not going to have to be able to find a path of desire”.
And the popular psychoanalyst pointed out that “mourning makes us different, different, with something that we no longer have and with something that we did not have before losing. With what we lose, something of us goes too. This journey leaves us with a material, a clay with which we can model something that has to do with our life and our desire if we know how to listen to it”.
He also clarified that, when we love, “we start to build that love, and we start to build in our mind, a psyche, an image that belongs to us, that is no longer what we love”.
And he gave as an example: “I have Cynthia by my side, but the Cynthia that lives in my head is another. If I lose her, she will leave reality, but not the one that lives in me”.
“The shadow of the Cynthia who is leaving will darken my life, it will cost me a lot of time and not to not see this person who is really gone, but rather to detach myself from the ghost of the other who you reside “.
A conference in which Rolón once again demonstrated that psychoanalysis on a human scale can strongly unite an author with his readers.