On April 5, 1994, Kurt Donald Cobain locked himself in the greenhouse of his home in Seattle, USA. He barred the door with a stool and began to write his farewell letter, dedicated to Boddah, his imaginary childhood friend. Then he lay down on the ground, leaned a 20-gauge shotgun against his chest, the barrel against his chin, and Pulled the trigger.
The body has just been found three days later by an electrician who came to install a security system. The scientific police had to verify his identity using his fingerprints. The toxicological study was later to show that the artist had high doses of heroin in the blood.
Thus occurred one of the most memorable tragedies of the rock scene. With barely 27 yearssinger and band leader Nirvana which, although in force for less than a decade, had already produced a turning point in the music industry, decided to end its life full of torments, addictions and depression.
What was the letter that Kurt Cobain said when he killed himself
“Speaking like the very experienced asshole who’d rather be an emasculated childish charlatan. That note should be pretty easy to pick up. Everything I’ve been taught in the punk rock classes I’ve taken over the years, since my first contact with, say, the ethic of independence and connection to my environment proved true. I don’t get excited to listen to or create music, not even write it, not even do rock’n’roll. I feel incredibly guilty. For example, when the lights go out before the concert and the audience is screaming, it doesn’t affect me the way it affected Freddy Mercury, who seemed to enjoy being loved and adored by the audience. What I admire and envy a lot. In fact, I can’t fool you, any of you. It wouldn’t be fair to me. Pretending that I’m having a 100% good time would be the worst crime I could imagine. Sometimes I feel like I should sign before going on stage. I tried everything to make sure that didn’t happen. (And I keep trying, believe me Lord, but it’s not enough).
I am aware that I have influenced and loved many people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’ve already happened. I am too simple. I need to be a little anesthetized to regain the enthusiasm that I had when I was a kid. During our last three tours, I have appreciated all the people I have met personally and who are our fans much more, but despite this, I cannot overcome the frustration, guilt and hypersensitivity towards the people. There’s only good in me, and I think I love people too much. So much so that it makes me fucking sad. The typical sad, sensitive and dissatisfied Pisces, oh my! Why can’t I enjoy? I do not know! I have a divine wife, full of ambition and understanding, and a daughter who reminds me a lot of how I used to be.
Full of love and joy, she trusts everyone because to her everyone is good and she believes they won’t hurt her. It scares me so much that it almost immobilizes me. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming a sinister, miserable, self-destructive rocker like I have. I have everything, everything. And I appreciate it, but ever since I was seven, I’ve hated people in general… Just because it seems like people find it easy to relate and be understanding. agreement! Just because I love people too much and pity them too much. Thank you all from the bottom of my uneasy stomach for your letters and interest over the past few years. I am a fickle and moody creature. I’ve run out of passion, and remember it’s better to burn than slowly fade away. Peace, love and understanding. Kurt Cobain.
Frances and Courtney, I’ll be at your altar.
Please, Courtney, carry on for Frances, for her life, which will be so much happier without me. I love. I love!
Kurt Cobain: two suicide attempts before the end
Far from being an isolated episode, the artist had already expressed his suicidal tendencies. On the morning of March 5, his wife, Courtney Lovefound him unconscious in a hotel in Rome and near death: he had taken 50 Rohypnol pills. He had even written a letter: “Dr. Baker says I must choose between life and death. I choose death.”
Two weeks later, back in the United States, Cobain and Love had a heated argument. He barricaded himself in the bathroom with a .38 caliber gun and threatened to commit suicide. The police quickly arrived on the scene and foiled his attempt to kill himself; the second in 13 days.
On March 30, he traveled to Los Angeles and entered the Exodus Recovery Center at Daniel Freeman Marina Hospital in California as part of the drug rehabilitation promise he had made with his wife. However, he spent less than two days in this recovery center.
He asked permission to go outside to smoke and jumped a two meter high wall. hours before, kurt cobain he had told Courtney Love on the phone:Just remember no matter what, I love you.” He traveled to Seattle and took refuge in his house, where he had left a 20-gauge shotgun he had bought a few days before with a friend, on the pretext that there were strangers lurking in his property. The same shotgun with which, four days later, he would kill himself.